Wednesday, May 29, 2013

The "N" Word

New Sign

I know what you're all thinking.  "Sacre Bleu! What is she talking about?"  But I guarantee you that if you haven't already, you're going to experience it at one point or another....I did.

That's right, *breath*, I can do it.  Someone asked me recently:

"Hey, how's your manuscript going?" 

To which I replied:

"Well, actually, I'm working on a "NEW" project...."

Short and sweet right? 

But what I was really thinking was:

Baby "Oh No!"
"Oh god, I can't believe I just admitted to working on a new project when the one I've been working on for the past year is still only half way done and sitting in a drawer at the back of my closet.  I'm never going to get anything done!  I give up! Freak of nature!  Zero talent!  And run on sentences!  And sentences that begin with "and".....and...."

You get the picture.

It's easy to get down on yourself.  I admit, I've been guilty of equating "starting something new" to "failure".  How many times have I told myself "that's not going to be me".  But here I am, in the throws of a brand spanking new project.

The good news is that the "N" word doesn't have to be a bad word.  

Was it manuscript fatigue? 

Something not working in the current story?

Something exciting about the new one?

Focusing on the positive is hard, but I can honestly say (after much introspection) that my early endeavour was not for naught.  I learned SO MUCH from my first manuscript.  I learned about what makes a good story, what my strengths are and what I need to improve on (not to mention, a lot about myself in the process).  I went to workshops with the material and worked on it with agents and editors.  I understand better where the market is now and where it's going and also what I want to present as my first book (should it get *fingers crossed* published). 

All that helped me to develop my "new" idea.  One that feeds off the knowledge that I gained and that fits my wants and needs and excites me all at the same time.  

It's not to say I won't finish my first manuscript, maybe I'll come back to it later.  But I've gained a new appreciation for writing, which really is like a relationship.  You've got to nurture and work on it through the good times and the bad, but sometimes, a new boyfriend may be just what you need. 


6 comments:

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  2. In the immortal words of Kenny Rogers (the singer not the baseball player):'Ya gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,' and know when to break out a new deck. Good for you, Jenn. I admire your willingness to take a gamble. I'm banking on your talent to see you through!

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  3. Sometimes it's tough to know when it's time for something new, but I think as long as you learned from the last manuscript, you're in good shape. It just means your next manuscript will be even better!

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  4. Oh, but I do hope you go back to it! I was intrigued with that story--I can still picture it in my mind!

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  5. Write what you love. Love what you write. And when the story inside you takes over - just enjoy the ride!

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  6. Thanks everyone! All great words to live by :)

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